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Writing away to glory - Part II

Be fair. You cannot solely blame me for being late in publishing the second edition of this hugely awaited blog (by all of 3 people - including me).

A lot happened in the last 25 days or so. Chennai Express has become something like a 'smashing ultra super mega blockbuster hit'. We are told that the film has earned enough for Rohit Shetty to splurge invest (collectively) in the following activities -
  • Buy the Rashtrapathi Bhawan
  • Finance the food security bill for the next 3 years
  • Pick up a majority stake in Microsoft
  • Buy out Zimbabwe (in an all cash offer)
  • Blow up Ashton Martins in his next magnum opus
  • Hire Angelina Jolie to do an item number. 
In other eventful occurrence, Rupee has become very popular in schools worldwide especially with physics teachers who are now explaining the concepts of 'gravity' by using the example of our national currency. Professors teaching accountancy suddenly find the concept of 'depreciation' being understood by students much better ever since they have started uttering the R-word.

India's most beloved sons Pappu and Feku continued to keep the country mesmerized by their cho-chweet talks and actions. Their uncles and aunties continue to passionately debate who would grow up to be the smarter one - every night at 9 pm. In the interests of the nation, the writer sincerely hopes that their uncles and aunties grow up first.

We continued our march towards firmly establishing ourselves as the sovereign, secular, democratic, republic of rape and molestation. We are our only competition at this point of time and the morning news bulletins seem incomplete without a fresh story on an innocent being wronged. (As a matter of fact such stories are seldom repeated by our media). Way to go!

China continued its pursuit to stake its claim on the whole of Asia. This time it came in about 20 kms inside Arunachal Pradesh and it was only after our generals confused the heck out of them by talking in Assamese English that they retreated out of the fear of being exposed (of their bilingual in-capabilities). That pen was mightier than sword was always known. But it is a revelation that English (language) and Chinese can never be bhai-bhai. I say bomb the hell out those Chinese ...................... with Wren and Martin! What an idea Sirji!

But just before you are led into believing that aal iz NOT well, gold rates have seen an unexpected (don't know by who) bull run. My 10 gram investment in the yellow metal will finally bear fruit and I hopefully will book enough profits to buy a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. So here is wishing -  Bhaag milkha sona bhaag!

So people, you see I was busy. But it does not mean that my ambition for becoming a writer has diminished any bit. The plans are firmly in place and here is further elaboration of the framework -
  • It would be nice to create a mythological setting for the upcoming series of books. The idea is to stoke the child in everybody from Kashmir (whatever little is left with us) to Kanyakumari (unless China claims it to be theirs). 
  • With a mythological setting, it might be a good idea to talk about those times where the countries/continents were kind of joined at the wrong places. Given the fact that we are so divided as a country, it is best to confuse people so that they do not accuse the writer of under/mis-representing their forefathers. No burning of copies at a later stage by any militant outfit. 
  • Introduce magic as a strong element in the narrative. With nothing outside the realms of possibility, readers are kept guessing - at all times. A master stroke!
  • The protagonist is introduced in the first edition where he is made to go through a lot of troubled times.  He discovers his powers and followers in the second edition. He finds the red hot chick in the third and final edition where he also bashes up the bad guy.
  • Now for the most important thing. Be alive to the possibility of the series being converted into a motion picture by some cash rich producer. Let us name that person - Karan Johar. The characters should be created in such a manner that they can be played by top actors of our generation. The protagonist could for example have six fingers and/or the lead actress could be rather expressionless who only speaks with an anglicized accent.
So you see I do have a plan and I am all set to become very rich. Now with all your good wishes I embark upon my epic journey. Will keep you posted when I am anywhere close to the first edition.

Disclaimer: Strong resemblance to the frameworks created by JK Rowling (Harry Porter series) and more recently Amish Tripathi (Shiva Trilogy) is completely co-incidental. The writer actually considers Anu Malik to be his role model. In his own words " Nothing is original. Everything is inspired."

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  1. It would be really nice to see your remarks.... Good/bad/ugly - they all matter. Thank you.

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