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Mitron  - Please delay your moral pangs.

This time it is not Wikileaks. But a nondescript agency (Touch Weekly) yesterday has published a list of Lindsay Lohan’s ‘romantic conquests’. From the late Heath ledger to Colin Farell to Justin Timberlake, there were 26 high profile beneficiaries of her affection.


Reactions...

Me: How the hell did Arnab miss out?

Swami: This is Congress' ploy to keep NaMo out of this elite list. Don't you all see the names that were scribbled out deliberately? Those were all NaMo on different occasions. I have proof and I will move the courts. There is an Italian connection!

Kejriwal: Thankfully, I don't  not need to ‘clarify’ anything on this one. As it is, coughing and road shows take up most of my time. The remaining goes into servicing the WagonR.

Siddhu: Thonko taali!

Move on fellas. National pride is at stake. More stink needs to be raised. More blogs need to be posted. The T20 world cup is about to start, and India’s performance has hit nadir in the recent months. But almost nobody in the BCCI circuit is concerned. OK OK – you don’t need to remind me about Gavaskar’s statement on Fletcher.

Random Cricket Fan: Sir - But why play Rohit?
Arrogant Board Official: Because he is a cricketer. And he has lots of talent.

RCF: And so have thousands of others. I mean how many more times does he need to fail before being nominated as the batting coach of China?

ABO: He is very talented. Just needs to buy some time in the middle. And then he will start middling everything.

RCF: But hasn't he already taken it to the extreme? Look at his strike rate in the first 30 balls. He hardly scores!

ABO: That is because he hardly makes contact. And the ones that he manages to poke, get caught by the slips. But he is very ....

RCF: TALENTED? Oh yeah! But how about scoring a few runs for all that those deliveries he wastes?

ABO: Which is exactly why we picked him up for the T20. The format is such that his scoring rate is bound to improve. Dhoni has been advised to play Rohit in all the matches.

RCF: Oh my God! You mean we are investing an ICC tournament to improve Rohit's scoring rate? And then you believe that a pressure cooker format is ideal to bring back his form?

ABO: That's is a great observation. Even we believe that Rohit is a player in the classical mode. Which is why we have preselected him for the away Test tours of England and Australia.

RCF: Pre-selection? So you guys don't assess form based on recent performances?

ABO: Hey you! How much do you know about cricket? Ever played a cover drive in life?

RCF: I have done better. I have played 1 bounce 1 hand cricket. And remained not out on 17 occasions after 2 overs.

ABO: And you feel you have the balls to talk cricket with ME? Do you even know how it feels to negotiate bounce as an opener?

RCF: I have done better. Pull shots were disallowed in our gully. Never broke a solitary pane in 10 years. Howzzat!

ABO: I am getting a sense of your cricketing acumen here. And I guess then you have never had to slide, dive, bruise elbows or fall back while taking a catch.

RCF: I have done better. Traced a 20 cricket balls in my career from drains of floating human waste without disgust. I was a specialist. Never missed a ball. Used to be relentless in digging everything out.

ABO: Just stop it. You are sick!

RCF: No sir. That is what cricket means to us. We worship the game. And then you feel there is no accountability to us fans. And then you give one more chance to Rohit Sharma. And then you screw up Manoj Tiwari's career. And then you play Ashwin. And then you say it is all a process. And then you say results don't matter. And then you make practice sessions optional. And then you......

 

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