Mitron!! Thanks to Kotak Mahindra, we now know that 6% is greater than 4%. We will next learn that Q comes after P.
Now raise both your hands and say with me "Bharat Maata Ki...............Jai!"
No No No No! LOUDER I say!
Bharat Maata Ki?
"Jaiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
You don't get it. I command! LOUDER!
Bharat Maata Ki?
"Jaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
Now have some 'chai' and go vote for me.
This is wicked fun... sic :)
I understand I have been away from the "literary scene". I have been missing your love, affection and comments. Without getting into graphical details of how screwed life was, let me politely suggest that I was 'sorting' a few things out. But completely empathize if some of you filed a "gone missing" complaint.
But a thank you note first. This accidental blog has crossed 1200 hits till date. That is an achievement of Virat Kohli proportions. Muchas Gracias! I am updating my CV.
So what is mention worthy? A couple things actually.
Globally - Moto G launched at fraction of Nexus 5 cost. Facebook acquired Whatsapp. As quid pro quo, a 29 year old pays $19 bn for the toy. All this when some less illustrious middle aged men are trying to buy their chaddis in instalments.
Domestically - Kejriwal resigned. RCB got Yuvraj Singh. Car prices dropped by upto 6%. Subramanian Swamy claims he talks to aliens.
Personally - I bought a two wheeler. I settled down into my new flat.
You already know enough about the first two. (The Subramanian Swamy story though is an India TV exclusive.)
I don't purport that the above is an exhaustive list. These are merely some of the consequences of getting a bike from your dad when you have barely achieved puberty.
Ladies and gentlemen. Fed up of persistent rise in the prices of fuel and ever shrinking motorable roads in Bangalore I decided to buy a bike. It did not matter that while the bike was to be delivered in a week, learning to manoeuvre it would take time.
And whatembarrassment fun it was. I mean I was really missing so much in life? I was blissfully unaware of the orgasmic pleasures that a two wheeler provides.
Over the years I have felt strongly against the riding ethics of auto rickshaws wallahs and bikers. If one was to add up all the traffic rules that an average biker breaks in a day, he could be handed life sentences on a daily basis. I have seldom missed an opportunity to train my vocal chords at errant bikers (and getting shouted back in return). I mean they feel they can always overtake you from any side? Snake around on roads when they should maintain some semblance of direction? Exploiting those tiny gaps (that cars leave to avoid body contact) to sneak ahead at traffic junctions? I mean how much time do they really save by doing all this? Why did they ever have to invent bikes? Nuisance they are!
Now I had a chance to show the world that riding a bike can be cool without bring criminal. But first I had to learn to release its from its stationary state and bring it to motion. I needed to balance it. I had to learn the controls and be on top of it while I was doing things to come under it. Did I take up something at a wrong point in life? Was I 15 years too late?
Eventually, the feet moved up, I surged ahead - with more than a little wobble. The braking was sudden and the cornering scary. But the progress was steady. I even started to enjoy the acceleration on empty stretches.
I started taking it to my work and had plenty of observation along the way. Some of them strangely filled my heart with a lot of respect for fellow bikers. Oh how did this happen? The same lot that I abhorred? Was there a change in heart? Was I melting?
When your sole ambition is to remain steady on a slow moving traffic, and you see these ladies breeze past everything without a scratch - there is wonder. When everybody is stuck in traffic jam,with chock-a-bloc road and bumper to bumper traffic, and these guys get on the footpath to surge way ahead of everybody and move out of the mess, there is astonishment. And when you see these 20 something college goers respond to a facebook post while overtaking a lorry - you have respect. Oh God - What skill! And here I was trying to prove a point? I wanted to be righteous? I needed to MODIfy my driving. The Kejriwal in me had to die.
I quickly leant that being righteous has its perils. And ridicule comes first. Everybody hates you on the road if you do not push ahead or make way and accelerate when the light turns orange. More so if the guy is learning and his survival instincts are not allowing him to ride along.
But things have started looking up of late. I have had an accident. I am breaking traffic signals, ignoring four wheelers and making all the mix up seem like the other persons mistake. I have been stopped by the cops and managed to slip through without paying up. This bike thing - I say, definitely comes with a certain attitude.
So the next time you see a random guy struggling to balance himself on two wheels on a busy road, pass by without uttering those famous cuss words. And the next time you see a random guy struggling to balance himself on two wheels on a busy Bangalore road, stop by, roll down your windows, smile and say hello! It might just be me.
Mitron - let me stop today on this note. Don't act like a shehzada and please post your comments. Unless you want some unnamed right wing hooligans to break your window panes tonight.
Jai Ho!
Now raise both your hands and say with me "Bharat Maata Ki...............Jai!"
No No No No! LOUDER I say!
Bharat Maata Ki?
"Jaiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
You don't get it. I command! LOUDER!
Bharat Maata Ki?
"Jaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
Now have some 'chai' and go vote for me.
This is wicked fun... sic :)
I understand I have been away from the "literary scene". I have been missing your love, affection and comments. Without getting into graphical details of how screwed life was, let me politely suggest that I was 'sorting' a few things out. But completely empathize if some of you filed a "gone missing" complaint.
But a thank you note first. This accidental blog has crossed 1200 hits till date. That is an achievement of Virat Kohli proportions. Muchas Gracias! I am updating my CV.
So what is mention worthy? A couple things actually.
Globally - Moto G launched at fraction of Nexus 5 cost. Facebook acquired Whatsapp. As quid pro quo, a 29 year old pays $19 bn for the toy. All this when some less illustrious middle aged men are trying to buy their chaddis in instalments.
Domestically - Kejriwal resigned. RCB got Yuvraj Singh. Car prices dropped by upto 6%. Subramanian Swamy claims he talks to aliens.
Personally - I bought a two wheeler. I settled down into my new flat.
You already know enough about the first two. (The Subramanian Swamy story though is an India TV exclusive.)
John Howard once famously said - “The bicycle is a curious vehicle. Its passenger is its engine.” For many, the saying applies as much to motorbikes.
I was deprived of one of the joys of adolescent years. I never owned a bike and I migrated from borrowed bicycles to hypothecated cars. Which simply means I could not do any of the following -
I was deprived of one of the joys of adolescent years. I never owned a bike and I migrated from borrowed bicycles to hypothecated cars. Which simply means I could not do any of the following -
- Date hot girls
- Bunk classes for movies
- Have a large group of friends to hang out with
- Borrow money from neighbours to buy fuel
- Meet with accidents/experience gravity
- Follow words like throttle, mechanical/hydraulic brake control system, suspension systems, two stroke operation or drive train
- Most importantly - Ride a goddamn bike
I don't purport that the above is an exhaustive list. These are merely some of the consequences of getting a bike from your dad when you have barely achieved puberty.
Ladies and gentlemen. Fed up of persistent rise in the prices of fuel and ever shrinking motorable roads in Bangalore I decided to buy a bike. It did not matter that while the bike was to be delivered in a week, learning to manoeuvre it would take time.
And what
Over the years I have felt strongly against the riding ethics of auto rickshaws wallahs and bikers. If one was to add up all the traffic rules that an average biker breaks in a day, he could be handed life sentences on a daily basis. I have seldom missed an opportunity to train my vocal chords at errant bikers (and getting shouted back in return). I mean they feel they can always overtake you from any side? Snake around on roads when they should maintain some semblance of direction? Exploiting those tiny gaps (that cars leave to avoid body contact) to sneak ahead at traffic junctions? I mean how much time do they really save by doing all this? Why did they ever have to invent bikes? Nuisance they are!
Now I had a chance to show the world that riding a bike can be cool without bring criminal. But first I had to learn to release its from its stationary state and bring it to motion. I needed to balance it. I had to learn the controls and be on top of it while I was doing things to come under it. Did I take up something at a wrong point in life? Was I 15 years too late?
Eventually, the feet moved up, I surged ahead - with more than a little wobble. The braking was sudden and the cornering scary. But the progress was steady. I even started to enjoy the acceleration on empty stretches.
I started taking it to my work and had plenty of observation along the way. Some of them strangely filled my heart with a lot of respect for fellow bikers. Oh how did this happen? The same lot that I abhorred? Was there a change in heart? Was I melting?
When your sole ambition is to remain steady on a slow moving traffic, and you see these ladies breeze past everything without a scratch - there is wonder. When everybody is stuck in traffic jam,with chock-a-bloc road and bumper to bumper traffic, and these guys get on the footpath to surge way ahead of everybody and move out of the mess, there is astonishment. And when you see these 20 something college goers respond to a facebook post while overtaking a lorry - you have respect. Oh God - What skill! And here I was trying to prove a point? I wanted to be righteous? I needed to MODIfy my driving. The Kejriwal in me had to die.
I quickly leant that being righteous has its perils. And ridicule comes first. Everybody hates you on the road if you do not push ahead or make way and accelerate when the light turns orange. More so if the guy is learning and his survival instincts are not allowing him to ride along.
But things have started looking up of late. I have had an accident. I am breaking traffic signals, ignoring four wheelers and making all the mix up seem like the other persons mistake. I have been stopped by the cops and managed to slip through without paying up. This bike thing - I say, definitely comes with a certain attitude.
So the next time you see a random guy struggling to balance himself on two wheels on a busy road, pass by without uttering those famous cuss words. And the next time you see a random guy struggling to balance himself on two wheels on a busy Bangalore road, stop by, roll down your windows, smile and say hello! It might just be me.
Mitron - let me stop today on this note. Don't act like a shehzada and please post your comments. Unless you want some unnamed right wing hooligans to break your window panes tonight.
Jai Ho!
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