I cant be in denial any more. Some people saw it coming. It is time to announce it the world.
So this is my moment of truth. And since this is deeply personal and this blog is my window to the milky way galaxy, let me reveal it here.
I am due to turn 40 sometime this year.
Oh dear! Oh dear! In the continuum of time, space and Amit Shah, ageing turned out to be a natural process. My innocence is truly lost. And like never before.
(That last sentence is a total lie. There was a similar emotional crisis at the cusp of turning 20 and 30. And knowing humanity, it is likely to continue).
By the way, I am still erotically enamored by Salma Hayek's snake dance! No coming out clean on that one.
But this phase of life is also about a lot of things. Having great conversations with people holding divergent views, discovering spirituality alongside red wine, discussing books, Jagjit Singh gazals, developing an exercise regime, public speaking and foreclosing home loans. Also trying to generally get better at a lot of things - like interpreting the financial results of your company, understanding valuations of technology start-ups and polishing your Urdu. For reasons unknown, you are suddenly receiving a whole lot more LinkedIN requests and getting much less sleep.
(Breaking the internet: Yogi Adityanath & Devendra Fhadnavis exchanging notes on reducing 'false positives' through Gauraksha)
You wonder if the proverbial 'self actualization' is somewhere down the line. That Maslow guy, I tell you - was neat.
Talking about the inevitable, in an enlightened conversation, it came up that its time that more thought was applied and a 'will' be created for your survivors. After all, 'life ka kya bharosa!' It is good to be 'practical' about these things and start taking your family into confidence.
As I came back home, a chain of thoughts got triggered in my mind. The logical and emotional parts of my brain were at war.
Emotional: Yaar ... shit! I am also going to die some day?
Logical: Positive.
Emotional: Life is indeed so uncertain. It all could happen so suddenly.
Logical: Relax. That day may not be tomorrow. Or it may well be. So don't relax!
Emotional: Seems like yesterday that I was born. I may still be wetting my pants in sleep. Poor me.
Logical: Wet dream. Go slow on Mia Khalifa!
Emotional: But I barely have money. How much will it amount to when they need it in future?
Logical: Time value of money. Chapter one - Financial Management. Professor Abhilash Nair.
The 'spiritual' side was so far a curious onlooker. But it decides to join in now.
Emotional: Kuch bhi kaho. 40 years. But its still hard to thinking about this thing rationally.
Spiritual: God is the mind that imagines physical reality. We are each like a cell in that mind.
Logical: Gand marao!
Spiritual: May be the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it is about unbecoming everything. that isn't really you so you can be who you really were meant to be in the first place.
Emotional: Yaar context kya hain?
Logical: This is going nowhere.
But what might a potential WILL look like? In the balance sheet of life, there are far too many unsecured loans; recovery of debts looks tentative and investments are awaiting removal of long term capital gains by Arun Jaitley.
One may just keep it simple then.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the world, friends and colleagues: I did not really see this coming. But this has happened. I will wait for you up there. Confession - Never understood the black hole theory too well. Re-birth possibilities - as iPhone 10. The world will wait for me.
To dearest mom and dad: This must be heartbreaking. Take care of yourselves.
To wifey: Your middle name now is "nominee". BTW I did look up Policy Bazaar to 'secure our future'. The cardiac arrest that caused my death was possibly due to their continuous calls to sell me a term plan. I am only carrying my logical side with me now, so suggest moving to rented place and using UBER. I have consolidated all our investments under a single sign on (login id and password same as your Gmail account). Confession - The monthly SIP that was getting deducted from your account was actually in my name. Rebirth possibilities - Cow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But there is anticipation and hope in looking forward to the next decade. There is realization that these are possibly meant to be our most productive years. A period that we will necessarily reflect back on later on to summarize our takeaways from life.
Hope the next blog though does not take another 10 years to write :)
Cheers!
So this is my moment of truth. And since this is deeply personal and this blog is my window to the milky way galaxy, let me reveal it here.
I am due to turn 40 sometime this year.
Oh dear! Oh dear! In the continuum of time, space and Amit Shah, ageing turned out to be a natural process. My innocence is truly lost. And like never before.
(That last sentence is a total lie. There was a similar emotional crisis at the cusp of turning 20 and 30. And knowing humanity, it is likely to continue).
By the way, I am still erotically enamored by Salma Hayek's snake dance! No coming out clean on that one.
But this phase of life is also about a lot of things. Having great conversations with people holding divergent views, discovering spirituality alongside red wine, discussing books, Jagjit Singh gazals, developing an exercise regime, public speaking and foreclosing home loans. Also trying to generally get better at a lot of things - like interpreting the financial results of your company, understanding valuations of technology start-ups and polishing your Urdu. For reasons unknown, you are suddenly receiving a whole lot more LinkedIN requests and getting much less sleep.
(Breaking the internet: Yogi Adityanath & Devendra Fhadnavis exchanging notes on reducing 'false positives' through Gauraksha)
You wonder if the proverbial 'self actualization' is somewhere down the line. That Maslow guy, I tell you - was neat.
Talking about the inevitable, in an enlightened conversation, it came up that its time that more thought was applied and a 'will' be created for your survivors. After all, 'life ka kya bharosa!' It is good to be 'practical' about these things and start taking your family into confidence.
As I came back home, a chain of thoughts got triggered in my mind. The logical and emotional parts of my brain were at war.
Emotional: Yaar ... shit! I am also going to die some day?
Logical: Positive.
Emotional: Life is indeed so uncertain. It all could happen so suddenly.
Logical: Relax. That day may not be tomorrow. Or it may well be. So don't relax!
Emotional: Seems like yesterday that I was born. I may still be wetting my pants in sleep. Poor me.
Logical: Wet dream. Go slow on Mia Khalifa!
Emotional: But I barely have money. How much will it amount to when they need it in future?
Logical: Time value of money. Chapter one - Financial Management. Professor Abhilash Nair.
The 'spiritual' side was so far a curious onlooker. But it decides to join in now.
Emotional: Kuch bhi kaho. 40 years. But its still hard to thinking about this thing rationally.
Spiritual: God is the mind that imagines physical reality. We are each like a cell in that mind.
Logical: Gand marao!
Spiritual: May be the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it is about unbecoming everything. that isn't really you so you can be who you really were meant to be in the first place.
Emotional: Yaar context kya hain?
Logical: This is going nowhere.
But what might a potential WILL look like? In the balance sheet of life, there are far too many unsecured loans; recovery of debts looks tentative and investments are awaiting removal of long term capital gains by Arun Jaitley.
One may just keep it simple then.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To the world, friends and colleagues: I did not really see this coming. But this has happened. I will wait for you up there. Confession - Never understood the black hole theory too well. Re-birth possibilities - as iPhone 10. The world will wait for me.
To dearest mom and dad: This must be heartbreaking. Take care of yourselves.
To wifey: Your middle name now is "nominee". BTW I did look up Policy Bazaar to 'secure our future'. The cardiac arrest that caused my death was possibly due to their continuous calls to sell me a term plan. I am only carrying my logical side with me now, so suggest moving to rented place and using UBER. I have consolidated all our investments under a single sign on (login id and password same as your Gmail account). Confession - The monthly SIP that was getting deducted from your account was actually in my name. Rebirth possibilities - Cow.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But there is anticipation and hope in looking forward to the next decade. There is realization that these are possibly meant to be our most productive years. A period that we will necessarily reflect back on later on to summarize our takeaways from life.
Hope the next blog though does not take another 10 years to write :)
Cheers!
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